i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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