Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
