singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
