some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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