I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
