God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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