she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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