guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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