There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
