One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
