Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
