I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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