if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
