She's JV to your varsity
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
