I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
