and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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