Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
