So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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