i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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