im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
