some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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