Yo dont text me then not text me
Please, let me fuck your mom
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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