If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
