omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think my fart just growled at me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
