You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
