I wish I could punch you in the face.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize