If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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