between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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