I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
