I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
