FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
