You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
