We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
