She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
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my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
then he tried to convert me to islam
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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