I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
