My liver just broke up with me...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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