i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
