So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
