Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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