Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
do herpes really smell.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
