Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
