You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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