Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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