Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
