he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
