he puts the penis in happiness.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
