Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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