so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
