Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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