This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
