we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
