It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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