do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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