When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
