I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
