I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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