I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
