they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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