You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
dude. I can hear the air.
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