Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
