I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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