her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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