one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
