if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
as a side note pls kill me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up under a house in Key West
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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