she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
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Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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