At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
