Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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