singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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