this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you are never too drunk for berry picking
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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