thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
