we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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